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Movie Review: The Invasion

Why Nicole Kidman starring in The Invasion trumps marrying Tom Cruise as her worst decision.

The Invasion just came out on DVD. I know this because the local Best Buy is using the DVD to prop up one side of a wobbly table (And that is probably giving the movie too much respect). Outside of that, there is really no reason to get this film. I admit to watching it in the theater when it came out, but my justification for this is that it was about 100 degrees, 110 percent humidity, and I didn’t have AC. I have since learned my lesson about trying to avoid the heat this way and will next time just go to the beach and be sexy with my shirt off and an American flag speedo. Who says patriotism isn’t sexy? U-S-A! U-S-A!

The only thing that is creepy about this movie is that you can literally see through Nicole Kidman. And that is hot and all if you’re the kind of guy that likes to see what Nicole Kidman’s digestive tract looks like. Me, I’m more of a classic romantic that enjoys big boobies (*insert squeezing motion here, accompanied by honking noises*).

This movie has nothing any movie goer wants to see, including a scene that takes place in a pharmacy, whose only accomplishment is that it makes you appreciate how long 85 minutes can actually be.

This remake is uncreative and not at all enjoyable. At about the midway point I actually started to root for the aliens to take over. I was very dissappointed when they didn’t take because I hear body snatching aliens throw the best parties. They usually involve pinatas full of tequila, foam fingers and wheelbarrow races. Earth parties are weak!

In conclusion, this movie is a must not see, and if a friend of yours recommends that you watch it, they are not your friend, rather, they are most likely a Nazi.


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