*Note: This was a special April Fools Article
The rapper 50 Cent is set to unveil a new album that will feature songs for kids. This concept has been something Curtis Jackson has wanted to do for a while, saying that he hopes to get fan loyalty early and keep it. The album has been completed, but the release date is yet undecided.
The record features songs such as, “Pacifier Bitch” and “22’s on the Stroller”, but hopes to release the song “Straight Out the Womb” as his radio friendly single.
This should be an awesome album because when I think of 50 Cent I think parenting skills. And by parenting skills, I mean the parenting skills of a gerbil. A drunk gerbil with large fangs and a gun that hates kids and can’t hold a steady job even after his wife threatens to leave him so he ends up prostituting himself out at a local Best Western and eating only items from the continental breakfast. And that is why 50 Cent is my hero. The end.