Preview Review: September 16, 2011

Preview Review: September 16, 2011

DRIVE

I don’t know what it is about this movie, but I really really want to see it! Maybe its the look of it, maybe its the old school feel of the trailer, fuck, maybe its the hot pink 80s cursive font of the title. I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that for some reason, I’m excited. I have high hopes for this one. Ryan Gosling is slowly working his way into my mind. I haven’t seen anything that has really stopped me in my tracks yet, but he has done some really solid work. Blue Valentine sold me on him being a serious actor, and Lars And The Real Girl was a great performance as well. I still have yet to see his Oscar nom’d role in Half Nelson, but I will get on that for sure. Drive looks like some sort of Miami Vice movie minus the goofiness or Jamie Foxx. Gosling plays an unnamed stunt driver who moonlights as a robbery getaway car driver. Such a simple, yet really cool plot. Check out the trailer, but I feel this might be one of the first good movies of the year!

PREDICTION: 3 1/2 stars

I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT

Annnnnnnd back to the toilet we go. Another Sarah Jessica Parker trying to cast a spell on the world into thinking she’s talented OR attractive, both of which are immensely false. Poor Ferris Bueller…having to wake up to her every morning. Jesus. I’d rather wake up to the face of Freddy Kruger. Anyway, let’s move past the main reason not to see this film, SJP, and move on to a few of the million other reasons to flush this dump. The plot is about some lady who has a busy life and everyone just keeps saying “I don’t know howwwwww she does it!!” Derp. Credits, film over, your wife or girlfriend is happy (unless they have a brain), you go home, have some dinner, watch tv, she goes to bed, you masturbate to porn on the computer with tears knowing what a failed life you lead compared to Sarah Jessica Parker. See? This movie will kill you faster than cancer.

PREDICTION: 1 star.

STRAW DOGS

I’ve said “why the fuck are they remaking that?” so many times to soooo many different movies, but this one is just as puzzling. The original Straw Dogs was hardcore with a powerful message…this one just looks like a remake of The Strangers, which came out a couple years ago. Yet another intelligent flick remade as some shitty action movie. I’m sure if Dustin Hoffman were dead, he would be spinning in his grave and I’m sure the late Sam Peckinpah is preparing the chains to haunt the shitty filmmakers of this shitty remake. If you have any integrity, you’ll check out the original. If you have any taste, you’ll enjoy the original, and if you have any sense, you’ll skip this piece of shit.

PREDICTION: 1 star.

Until next week beeyachtes!

“Sex and the City” Teaser Poster Released

“Sex and the City” Teaser Poster Released

I may not be the target demographic for this one, (that would be Mrs. Lowry,) but I know this is hotly anticipated.  The first poster for “Sex and the City 2,” has been released.    I know very little about the plot of the second movie, (such spoilers are verboten around our house,) but I was surprised that I enjoyed the first movie.  Maybe I’ll enjoy this one.  It opens May 28th, 2010.

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“Sex and the City” Gets Fast Tracked

 If you wondered how things worked out between Carrie and Big, wonder no more.  Variety is reporting that Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis have all signed on for a “Sex and the City,” sequel.

The first film, which opened last summer, made $152 million in the US and an additional $260 million worldwide.  Not too shabby.  (Plus, no one is calling Catrall for a “Manequin” follow-up, so, really, why not do this?

Michael Patrick King, who wrote and directed the first film, has also signed on to return.

New Line is clearly excited about the film’s prospects and are rushing it into production.  It will shoot later this year and hit screens in summer 2010.

HBO Greenlights 3 Pilots

HBO has some of the best original programming on television, so I was look forward to new pilots coming from the pay cabler.

The projects include “Boardwalk Express,” that tells the story of the birth of organized crime in Atlantic City, circa 1920s. The show is exec produced by Martin Scorsese, ‘Sopranos’ alum Terence Winter, and “Entourage” team Mark Wahlberg and Steve Levinson.

Other projects greenlit include a new half-hour comedy called “Washingtonienne,” based on the novel by Jessica Cutler. The show will be about the main characters sex life with real life political figures in D.C. Sarah Jessica Parker is exec producing.

And finally, an hourlong drama about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

I don’t know about you, but Boardwalk Express sounds pretty freakin awesome.

Review: Sex and the City

Review: Sex and the City

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Summer blockbuster filmmakers take note: Carrie Bradshaw can teach you a thing or two. Four years after riding off into the sunset, Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha are back in something that fans have been clamoring for ever since the end of the final episode: the ‘Sex and the City’ movie. [Read more…]