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Van Damme Does ‘Acting type of film’

If you are like me (and you’re not so don’t even try) then you were all kinds of concerned about the writers strike and it’s impact on the quality of upcoming films. But, just announced, there is reason for hope that not all is lost: Scripts now become accessible to Jean Claude Van Damme. This is like winning the lottery as a movie goer, provided winning the lottery is like having puppies lick your face. Did I mention puppies have acid laced tongues and guns for paws? Because these puppies do.

Jean Claude will star in the film titled ‘JCVD’. If that doesn’t make you smile, then you are a robot, and not a cool robot, but a stupid emotionless robot. The movie is about a guy trying to find himself, but only finds himself falling into more trouble, up to and including a bank heist. In the words of Van Damme, “it’s an acting type of film”. At least he is honest with the fact that he hasn’t acted before this.

In theory the movie will premeire at Cannes, in reality, the movie probably doesn’t exist.

– Brandin

Correction: There are no uncool kinds of robots.

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