home Editorial, Movies, Retro Reviews ‘Indiana Jones’ Could Happen…

‘Indiana Jones’ Could Happen…

Indiana Jones

I just finished watching the ‘Indiana Jones’ trilogy to get excited for the
fourth installment, but all it did was leave me so angry I drove to a strip club and told everyone to go home, then wandered around the parking lot confused and looking for discarded lottery tickets.

Here is my biggest problem with the Indy movies: reality. From these movies I am inclined to believe that Spielberg lives in some sort of magical land where elves roam and leprecorns (half leprechon half unicorns, very rare) graze upon its fertile soils. I understand that these movies are not meant to parallel what would actually happen in real life, and they are some kind of escape, but seriously, these were egregious.

The issue for me is that it is Spielberg’s job to create a world where these things are plausible if not possible. If the world is created then I will have no issue with any sort of fantastical thing that happens. If done correctly, Indy could have shot lasers out of his nards and I wouldn’t have minded. But this didn’t happen for me. We were just meant to take everything that Spielberg gave us.

Indiana Jones was set up as a teacher that goes on these amazing adventures. Just a guy that looks for historical treasure. Next thing I know he is jumping out of a plane in a blow up raft , sliding down a mountain, off a cliff, into rapids and sticks the landing like a champ. Even if I give you that Indiana survives this, which I won’t so don’t even try to take it, that still leaves dead the two other people that made the jump with him. We were given no context for this to happen the way it did.

I am all for suspending disbelief, but give me a reason to and don’t make me feel dumb about it. I too have feelings and they are hurt with your lack of respect. The only thing that could make me feel better is a tickle war.

-Brandin

2 thoughts on “‘Indiana Jones’ Could Happen…

  1. Reminds me of that scene in Poseidon when the main character dives off of the top of the cruise ship into the flaming waters that have filled the interior of the ship and emerges shrapnel-less. Seriously, wtf?

  2. They proved the jumping out of a plane on the blowup raft as plausibe on Mythbusters. Don’t count Indy out! Besides…it’s a movie, not reality…lighten up.

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