Emma Watson of ‘Harry Potter’ fame will be taking over for Scarlett Johansson in the upcoming movie ‘Napoleon and Betsy,’ while simultaneously stealing Mena Suvari’s face. Watson will play Betsy Balcombe, a young woman of nobility who is trapped on the island of St. Helena. While there she falls in love with the exiled Napoleon. The rumor is that Scarlett stepped down because the role was too young for her to play. The truth is that Scarlett wanted to pursue her new hobby of making googly eyes at Natalie Portman. Which is a story I am more interested in following. It’s OK Scarlett, those feeling you have are completely natural. Go ahead, just smell her hair. It’s nice right? Now go ahead and give her a kiss. There you go. See I should totally be a director. Someone get me Hollywood! Hello? Hollywood? Best movie ever calling. Where do I pick up my Oscar?