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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism


Man in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!

Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?
“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

I Am Legend
Extremley slow movie. Didnt seem to go anywhere, just when you think something was going to happen, nothing happened.

Good Luck Chuck
Many people may think this movie has disgusting humor and is unenjoyable. But it is a very funny movie. yes it does have some humor that was hard to digest, but that is what made it funny. I dont know why people thought movies like Superbad and Knocked Up were so funny. All those movies just swore throughout the whole thing. This movie has a funny storyline and Dane Cook was hysterical in it. Jessica Alba, LOOKING GOOD. If you are looking for a fun movie to check out, Go see Good Luck Chuck.

Rambo III
Why would any helicopter fly at ground level against a tank? Please. That part alone destroyed the movie.

Pitch Black
Pitch Black is a Sci-Fi film sure to please fans of the genre. While the acting wavers at time, the film is held together by a good storyline, and by the film presense of Vin Diesel. I just finished my second viewing of Pitch Black, and enjoyed it once again.

My rating of this movie is primarily for fans of sci-fi and action movies. Those who could care less about these genres will probably not like Pitch Black, simply because the acting has occasional glimpses of mediocrity. But alas, Vin Diesel holds the movie together. You love and hate him at the same time.

The Ultimate Gift
This movie teaches that many things in life have value beyond money. Family, work, friendship, and laughter are just a few of them. Abigail Breslin was awesome! I hope she has as long and wonderful a career as Kathryn Hepburn.

Harold and Maude
this movie is a mix: a bloody movie and a sad story of friendship. sounds good huh? no its horrible. it has no plot. and why would a 16 year old have sex with an 80 yr old??????!! this movie is just sick. SICK I TELL YOU!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks
This film teaches important lessons to children in a gentle and very entertaining way. Lesson One: Discipline is important to children. Lesson Two: Anything in excess, even fun, can ruin your life. Lesson Three: The entertainment industry, although glamorous, can be harmful.

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