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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism

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Man in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!
Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?

“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

The Godfather
It begins with a wedding and has plenty of violence. Yet, this movie makes you care about the characters and what happens to them.

Blue Crush
A remake of a thousand previous movies, “Blue Crush” substitutes surfboards for welding equipment, etc. What was the value in this movie? I couldn’t find anything that makes me feel better or like I learned something.

Knocked Up
THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG,LONG TIME. THE PREMISE IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT THEY WERE BOTH REALLY DRUNK AND HAD SEX. IT IS CLEAR THEY COULD NOT GET THE BARTENDER TO WAIT ON THEM. THERE IS NO INDICATION THAT THEY HAD MORE THAN ONE DRINK.

Seven Samurai
kurosawa is one of the great directors of all-time – this is an almost undisputed fact, even by me. however, people fail to mention that all but 1 or 2 of his movies are deathly boring. seven samurai goes on for 3 hours, and even with action sequences, fails to enthrall. truly boring and not worth the time unless you’re a scholar of good direction.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
despite the fact that i love paul newman, this movie is pretty awful. some decent cinematography and good moments with newman can’t make up for the fact that redford can’t act and the script is hollow. not much happens and we go on a journey to nowhere. not recommended. highly overpraised.

The Fountain
This is the worst film of the decade !!!!! If possible I would give it a MINUS 5 stars. Any film that can make Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz look UNattractive is a loser from the start.Miss Weisz is seen mostly with an ugly knitted cap and when she has it off, her hair must have been done in a blender. I would have thought it impossible to have Mr. Jackman look ugly, but he is unrecognizable as the bald “monk” in the seqments set in the future.

Children of Men
Let’s start out with the obvious. No babies. Have these people never heard of cloning? Has the audience?

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