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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism

twipab.jpgMan in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!

Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?

“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: Supporters of the worldwide Internet community suggest that it is this one marketplace of ideas that makes the web something incredibly strong. Unfortunately, the problem with everyone being able to give their opinion is that people often do. ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

Get Carter
I don’t understand it at all. This movie has been universal lauded by critics and the general public alike as a quality film. Well, I think each and every one of these people owe me an apology. This movie is terrible.

Spellbound
all through the 40’s hitchcock teamed up with mr. david o. selznick who, while making him well-known in the US, also managed to have him make horrible movies. his worst movies came out during this period. unfortunately this is one of them, and it’s very terrible. extremely talky, ridiculous, boring, and it goes nowhere. the only thing of note is that salvador dali designed a dream sequence in the movie which, while it’s not amazing or groundbreaking, is still interesting.

Life As A House
A different role for Robin Williams. I was surprised, but pleased, by the ending. When he finds out he is dying, he makes changes in his life. (Editor’s note: This movie stars Kevin Kline.)

Free Willy
i like this movie, it has pretty colors.

Blue
I noticed that the movie got rave reviews from some, but when I saw it all I could think was “Uuhhhhhhhhhhhh”. That’s what this movie feels like. It is LONG. and boring. Nothing happens. a lot of silence, and blue stuff everywhere in the house, like blue glass chimes.

Pretty Woman
Richard Gere and Julia ROberts, nice. SHe brings dignity to a profession thats looked down on by almost everyone I’ve ever met, she succesfully adds a human dimension. I like the honesty of this movie.

9 ½ Weeks
This movie seemed to be all about sex and nothing else.

Amadeus
I would rather be locked in a room with no food, tapped incessantly on the forehead with a drop of water, crushed between the cushins of a coffin six feet underground while I ran out of breath, than forced to watch this movie that traps me in my own feeling of self-unworth.

Please, do not buy this movie, movie-goer, unless you have nothing left to lose. Or if you happen to be a genius. Or if you happen to like Mozart.

Songcatcher
This movie is a rare jewel. it reminded me of the singing of my aunts and grand parents who are also from the hills of eastern TN and west NC. i was sad they had to bring in lesbian issues. this was not necessary for this movie.

Closer
This movie had promise, but was not carried out well. The characters were dishonest, selfish and selfish…..Not one character to like, you have to have at least 1 to like lol.

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