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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism

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Man in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!
Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?

“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: Supporters of the worldwide Internet community suggest that it is this one marketplace of ideas that makes the web something incredibly strong. Unfortunately, the problem with everyone being able to give their opinion is that people often do. ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

The Way We Were
It’s about time someone stands up and says : “red scare is all about mean politicans and innocents writers”, “soviet spies never existed”. That movie is telling us just that, by completely ignoring the spionage problem and the Corea war. One thing is particularly shocking, let’s think of the millions of the victims of the Gulag when we see Stalin’s poster in Streisand’s room. “Freedom of speech will never exist in this country”, says Redford-Pollack ; i just wish you were born in USSR, you criminal.

The English Patient
I have to say I enjoyed this movie as it showed how far a man would go for the woman he loved, but the full frontal nude scene spoiled it. Kristen Scott Thomas’s character could have pull a towel around herself as she stepped out of the bath, but I guess morals went out the window as they were having an affair and she was a married woman, which I thought was wrong.

Cache
For those who like long, endless shots of the exteriors of buildings. All others should stay away.

Music & Lyrics
loved the movie except the parts focusing on the Budha and on the teen girl’s singing. I thought that was a bad influence on “real world” teens, and on children.

Charlie Wilson’s War
I enjoyed the way Amy Adams played her role as a smart but also beautiful assistant. Imagine what could happen if one senator began to really care about one issue. There was not anything *thriller* about it. It says based on a true story but I don’t believe it.

Teen America: World Police
This movie is garbage. Sure, this movie is very well done, and is the best pupeteer work EVER, it is horrible other than that. This movie has swears every three seconds. It shows the puppets have sex. It even shows the puppet getting drunk and puking all over the place! It S-U-C-K-S. At the beggininning, the movie has a play called AIDS. IT SUCKS! The puppet pukes. BORIIIING… and is gross. The main guy sucks another man’s penis. GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!

Shakespeare in Love
I am in utter disbelief that this picture won an academy award let alone more than one, inlcuding best picture. They had fancy costumes, thats about the best part of the movie.

Memento
I didn’t like this movie. I lost interest about halfway thru because it was showing each “chapters” backwards, starting at the end and finish at the beginning, but I finished it though. No suspense this way because the movie will reveal the answer at the beginning.

Lust, Caution
This was a very slow moving,boring and dull story.The sex scenes are not hot at all unless you are into the coma sutra and even then. I was very disappionted with this movie thats all I can say.

Snatch
I heard from my friends this movie was amazing, great, fantabulous. But when I rented this movie and brought it to my house, I was just disappointed. There was swearing every three seconds and tons of senseless violence. I wouldn’t watch it again unless someone put a gun to my head.

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