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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism


Man in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!
Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?

“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

2 Days in Paris
I only watched about 15 minutes of this movie. I didn’t like it at all. The couple fights and argues throughout the entire time (first 15 minutes.)

The Black Dahlia
I love Brian De Palma films. Why? Because Brian De Palma makes movies that speak to my penis.

Old School
This movie will be a classic for years to come. When they make Comedys they should try to make them as funny as this

Gone Baby Gone
This movie was like washing your face with sandpaper, just plain painful. Why is it every time the make a movie based in Massachusetts all they ever do are bad ascents and swear the whole time.

Unforgiven is an appropriate title for this mess, only it’s Eastwood who should be UNFORGIVEN for turning out such a ghastly production. Clint, you’ve done MUCH BETTER.(“Outlaw Josey Wales” for one) But either star in or direct, don’t do both! Morgan Freeman and Gene Hackman were the only saving graces here and to be blunt, Freeman did the better job. He reminded me somewhat of the character “Grave Digger” from “Glory” in that he didn’t have the advantage of a great deal of “book learning” but he was WISER than most.

27 Dresses
Except for one part of the movie – probably necessary to the story – I liked it very well.

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