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Remake This: The Invasion

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Most remakes generally fall into two categories.  There’s the ‘God awful’ category, which most remakes seem to strive to get put into.  The other, much less used category is the ‘surprisingly good.’  However, ‘The Invasion,’ the latest version of ‘The Invasion of the Body Snatchers,’ needs a third category to be created: ‘Eeeh.’

‘The Invasion,’ is yet another re-make of ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers.’  The original film is excellent.  The re-make film starring Donald Southerland and his moustache is excellent.  I missed Abel Ferarra’s ‘Body Snatchers,’ but since both he and the plot line are crazy, I have high hopes.

This latest version, originally made by Oliver Hirschbiegel, (he of ‘Downfall’ fame,) and then later messed up by the Wachowskis and Joel Silver is kind of all over the place.  (As an aside, if you’re hiring the guy who made a three hour Hitler-in-the-bunker movie, why were you shocked when he turned in something that wasn’t a traditional action/suspense/thriller movie?  Why hire the guy if you don’t want him to do what he does?  Sorry, back to the review…)

‘The Invasion’ stars Nicole Kidman as a psychologist who is raising an adorable child all by her own.  Her ex-husband, played by Jeremy Northam, has been absent from his son’s life has now decided to re-emerge.  However Jeremy has been taken over by the pod people.  Except in this movie, they’re not pods and the disease is passed by having someone puke in your coffee or Gatorade or diet cola or whatever your drink of choice may be.

The first twenty minutes of the movie is a tight, slick, tense opening.  After that, it all goes to hell.  Car chases with zombies, people puking into each other’s mouths.  Oh and James Bond shows up, but he’s a doctor and he looks more concerned than ready for action.  He also wears a turtleneck, which James Bond would never do.  (Well, maybe Roger Moore’s Bond.  Definitely not Sean Connery.)

Sorry to give away the ending, but there you go.  In fact, what is the ending?  I kept reading about a surprise ending and, truthfully, the only surprise was that the movie didn’t end sooner.

Anyway, long story short: skip this one.  Rent the 1978 remake or the first one.  Or do a double bill, and watch both back-to-back.  Whatever happens, don’t watch this.  You’re liable to end up vomiting in your coffee.  And we don’t want that.  -Sam

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