THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2: FULL SEQUENCE
Yes! I know that for whatever reason it’s cool for people to hate on the first Human Centipede. Well, I actually thought it was a really well made and original horror flick. It was nice to see a horror movie for a change that wasn’t Saw or some “found footage” bullshit. This movie had a great premise, the mad scientist was awesome, pretty good gore, and actually used fucking tripods and camera movement…what a concept!! Anyway, I loved it…and to be honest, part 2 looks even better to me. I love the premise. Some psycho watched the first movie and becomes obsessed with creating his own human centipede but he sucks at it. It looks pretty hardcore and I
just love movies about crazy people. Plus, it’s filmed in black and white, which I think is a ballsy move. Looks awesome all around and I can’t wait to see it! And to play off the tagline of the first one, 100% medically accurate, this one is 100% medically INaccurate, which makes me think of some nice infected gore, etc…which also wets my whistle!
PREDICTION: 3 1/2 stars
THE IDES OF MARCH
Political thriller movies can go either way for me. Some can be really exciting and cool like All The President’s Men, and some can totally blow like Lions For Lambs. This one has an amazing cast though and is directed by George Clooney, who is actually a terrific director mostly. I have some high hopes for this one. I think that Ryan Gosling is on a role, and after seeing and loving Drive, I really am excited to see his followup. He looks to actually have some dialog in this movie too, unlike Drive. But I think that even if the movie drags a little, like political films can sometimes, just seeing Gosling, Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti all interacting together will be enough entertainment to get you through. Possible Oscar bait as well.
PREDICTION: 3 stars
They really missed the opportunity to title this one REAL GAY. It sounds like a gay porn, actually. Okay…so we have basically Rock Em’ Sock Em’ Robots the movie right? Jesus, does this look retarded! We have Hugh Jackman building these boxing robots and then training them to fight eachother because that is the new form of boxing in the future. News flash…unless you’re a fucking nerd, you don’t want to watch robots fight eachother. That is why boxing is popular. People want to see other PEOPLE beat the shit out of eachother! Not fucking
robots. Also, did anything think of the immense liability it would be if shrapnel from the robots flew into the crowd and decapitated someone? This is just immensely stupid. They should make Hungry Hungry Hippos the movie next, but do it as a horror movie. Or how about Jenga the movie directed by Michael Bay?? Just totally stupid and a waste of time and millions of dollars that could probably help out some poor foreign country.
PREDICTION: 1 star