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This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism

twipab.jpgMan in line: Wait a minute, why can’t I give my opinion? It’s a free country!
Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren’t you ashamed to pontificate like that?

“Annie Hall” by Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman

Editor’s Note: ‘This Week in Poorly Argued Criticism’ is culled from a variety of on-line sources. It’s goal is to not highlight bad reviews. Instead, it is to point out that, no matter how highly praised or critically derided, there is a voice of dissent. If the reader thinks, ‘physician, heal thyself,’ well, let this be a lesson for all.

The following quotes are presented as they were originally posted. The spelling errors and syntax are their own. While they may have been pulled from a larger review, they are as they appeared. The views are not necessarily those of the Lonely Review staff.

Bloodrayne
If you loved the game you will love this movie non stop action packed with a great story line one of the best Vampir movies ever great! i can see where the Adults dont like it coz its too much for them to cope and its crapy for them non interesting would nor reccomend to children under the age of 12 but other than that really good!

Four Brothers
If you fast-forward thru the first hour — to miss the language and male bonding — once they start to investigate it gets better. Surprise ending.

Transformers
The special effects were mind-boggling and the storyline fast and furious, with a infectious comedic flavoring spread throughout thanks to the immensely talented Shia Lebeouf. Add to the mix Megan Fox, one of the most attractive young women I’ve seen in quite a while and you’re in for a great adventure that can be enjoyed by all (well maybe not so enjoyable for girls).

A Clockwork Orange
The film attempts to garner sympathy for the main character by showing him brutalized by the Establishment and finally “reformed” – learning how to behave properly is portrayed as this brutal process that robs innocent criminals of their individuality. Waaaaah.

The Sound of Music
When I see garbage like this, I finally understand what is wrong with the world. I watched this movie on a dare and was absolutely mortified!!!!! I would have given it negative stars if I could have. As an animal lover and vegetarian, I was especially offended!!! Anyone who is a fan of this series should run, not walk to the nearest Psychiatrist. You are in desperate need of having your head examined. And we as a society wonder why violence and seriel killers have become a part of daily life. Well, ladies and gentlemen I present to you Exhibit A…….

Beowolf
The first part of this film was a yawner unless you enjoy seeing a digitized drunken nude Anthony Hopkins. By the way, if you dont see this in 3D you’re a fool.

The Lion King
This is VERY overrated. We thought this was going to be SO great. But it isn’t. It is vulgar, coarse, and filled with awful songs. Who made this a musical. If you want a good cartoon, go watch Porky Pig. You are better off watching some cheesy Fred Astaire movie than this. Lemme give you the pathetic story: A horribly irritating young lion cub is driven away by some overly evil uncle. Then he returns as a square adult with the help of his two obnoxious friends and his egotistic girlfriend. He drives the evil king away. But who made this a musical? The songs are horrible. I’m sure they were okay when Elton John sang them , but no! Some silly woman is singing them, botching them up in the process. This is truly a band movie and ought to be banned.

Shaft (1971)
I was pretty disappointed when I watched this movie. I thought it was suppose to be cool but it sucked.

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