I woke up this morning and put on my old man pants, cappy, and decided to grampa it up. I am full of “back in my day” and “you don’t know how good you have it!” And, who doesn’t like a bitter old man ranting?! Well, you’re in luck, the bitter old man store is stocked up and open for business.
Over the course of a week I watch a lot movies and neglect my responsibilities and personal hygiene, all for your benefit. Here is the list of movies I have seen this past week. Try to keep up: Inglorious Basterds – This was a rewatch from my summer viewing. The fact that it is a …
Remember in Saved by the Bell: The College Years when Zack was presented with an opportunity to cheat on his ethics test? Professor Lasky in his infinite wisdom and long luscious locks set up a test where he “accidentally” left the answer key on the floor for his students to find. Every student cheated, except …
History is written by the winners because, well, everyone likes a winner and because losers tend not to write of their defeat. Movies are the same. We like to look back at films and discuss/debate over which were the best of last 365, which ones captivated, inspired, touched us, etc. etc., but in the words …
It has been a minute since I last posted, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been looking out for you. All it takes to get me back in here delivering the hard hitting news to you is a goat that sounds like a man yelling. Could I be considered a hero? Well, if I’m not …
I am considered by most to be the coolest human being to ever exist. Maybe it’s because I have long flowy locks of hair, or maybe it’s the Fonzie-esque way I snap my fingers and 17 girls show up, but whatever it is, I tend not to argue.
It’s better you hear this from me than some stranger, but a police report has been filed by the mother and sister of demigod Christian Bale, alleging that he assaulted them while in a west London hotel the night before the European premiere. He hasn’t been charged and, when asked, Scotland Yard said that it …
What’s that? A gerbil running through a cardboard replica of a video game? I am on board. A billion percent. I’m pretty sure that even if I wasn’t high on mescaline right now I’d find this amusing … and I’d have pants on … and my socks wouldn’t be reciting the Homestead Act to me. …
Hayden Panettiere may have written the most asinine song since, well, I want to say ever. Her song “Wake Up Call” sounds more or less (think “more”) like throwing up down a garbage disposal to a reggae beat. She could have taken a giant hose and sprayed cat feces on us and I would have …
Michael Bay has heard that people love (1) things exploding, (2) giant robots fighting for control of Earth, and (3) when actors/actresses put on weight for roles. In regards to the last one he has asked Megan Fox to put on 10 pounds for her up coming role in Transformers. In return I have asked …